Fuck the media

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Fuck the media.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sam & Max Hit The Road

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: sam?
You: max?
You: let's hit the road
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

vagina

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: vagina
You: what about it
Stranger: nothing
Stranger: are you irish?
You: partly
Stranger: sweet!
Stranger: how irish are you?
You: maybe 1/8
Stranger: ah:(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Hello, you sexy non-smoking libertarian female stranger from Copenhagen

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello, you sexy non-smoking libertarian female stranger from Copenhagen.
You: does being smoking hot still count as non-smoking?
You: because i may not qualify
Stranger: That would be the closest I ever got anyway, so I'm ready to compromise.
You: i don't want you lower your standards just for me
You: but i'm flattered if you are willing to go through with this
Stranger: Well, the "stranger" part is non negociable though.
You: so, what now?
Stranger: We discuss kid's names.
Stranger: I like Bjorn for a boy and Eva for a girl.
You: ewww...not bjorn
Stranger: Dismissed!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

have you ever seriously investigated the government's claims about 9/11?

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hello
Stranger: what's up?
You: it is the newest pixar movie
Stranger: mhm.
You: no, it really is
Stranger: have you ever seriously investigated the government's claims about 9/11?
You: i dont think that's what the movie up is about
Stranger: look, the latest pixar movie can wait
You: it has ed asner and his house has balloons on it
Stranger: George Bush LIED to us about 9/11
Stranger: the government is in a massive coverup because they were complicit
You: i'll have to wait for up
You: it doesn't come out until may
Stranger: and you're worried about pixar movies?
Stranger: get your fucking priorities straight.
You: but it's in 3D
You: have you ever seen a 3D movie
You: it's like you're right there
You: in the movie
Stranger: I've seen good friends die in vietnam.
Stranger: that'll teach you what being right there really means.
You: well, if his balloon house lands in vietnam
You: it's rated g
You: so there probably isn't a lot of killing
Stranger: heh. okay, I'm moving on. well played.
You: i think the movie will probably play on my emotions if that's what you mean
Stranger: later.
You: i cried at wall-e
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

hey sexy

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey sexy

You: you have me confused with someone else

You: i am mildly sexy at best

Stranger: im so horny

Stranger: wont you hel?

Stranger: *help?

You: i guess i can

Stranger: please do babes

You: what turns you on?

You: i will pretend that is my speciaty

You: *specialty

You: are you cumming yet?

You: I'm trying my best

Stranger: what would you do to me if i was on your bed?

You: that depends if you are male or female

You: i have two very different scenarios pictured

Stranger: female

You: i assume you are lying but i can pretend

You: i suppose i would probably attempt to woo you in some way

You: this normally results in me not getting any

You: so i should probably do the opposite of my natural inclinations

Stranger: dominate me

Stranger: do what you will

Stranger: i need something

Stranger: im acheing

You: are you all ready naked because that changes my opening move?

You: supposing you are all ready naked, i would probably take off my clothes as well

Stranger: im always naked

You: don't you get cold

You: oh wait, the sex

Stranger: not when i have you to heat me up

You: i get distracted easily

You: i guess I should probably mount you in some way

You: what are your favorite positions?

Stranger: im def a backwards cow girl

Stranger: but babe, you do as you like

You: backwards cowgirl is fine with me

You: it also has the benefit of me not needing to do much

You: so i guess i would lay down on the bed

You: wait, that should be lie down

You: even in sex, proper grammar

Stranger: def

Stranger: and i would straddle you

You: yes, that is generally how the position works

Stranger: pressing my breasts into your mouth

You: that is not backwards cowgirl

Stranger: i start this way

You: unless you are extremely flexible

Stranger: duh

You: oh, good then

You: because you were kind of creeping me out with how flexible you were

Stranger: now what?

You: i guess would be sucking on your breasts

You: seeing as they would be in my face and all

You: also, breasts are pretty great

You: probably playing with your nipples and so forth

You: i guess you could blow me or something

You: by the way, while you are blowing me, i am eating a sandwich

Your conversational partner has disconnected.